FAQs – Answers to your questions

Understanding why your child is having communication and behaviour problems at home and/or at school can be bewildering. The information you receive from school, peers, family and friends can be confusing. You may have general questions about your child’s behaviour or about non-verbal communication. Hopefully you will find the answers in the questions listed below – these are ones we are asked more frequently. However, if you have a specific question that is not covered here and would like an answer, you can submit it and we will endeavour to answer it as quickly as we can.

Question: What is non-verbal communication?
Answer: Non-verbal communication is the bedrock of communication. Between 60-90% of a conversation is understood not through the words but through non-verbal messages, that is, body language, facial expressions, tone of voice etc. See our non-verbal communication page for more information.

Question: My daughter suddenly appears to get angry for no explicable reason - what can I do?
Answer: Children only learn how to communicate feelings by watching others and learning about expressions of low and high level feelings, eg a little bit cross and very angry. They are more likely to recognise anger when people are shouting and waving their arms about as it is more obvious. If they fail to develop this understanding, when they react to situations or people the only way they can communicate their anger is at a very high level, so they may appear to others to suddenly become extremely angry or aggressive for no apparent reason.

Your daughter’s anger is probably a sign that she doesn’t understand what people are saying or what they are doing all the time. Something someone says may confuse her resulting in her becoming frustrated and she may resort to her only way of communicating anger – at a very high level. Not Just Talking’s intervention will ensure that she learns to pick up the non-verbal clues and make better sense of situations.

Question: My child asks questions constantly – why?
Answer: Because he is only listening to the words. He is not able to store the information in his brain in a way that helps him to access it later. Being able to use the 60-90% of non-verbal information to make sense of the words, will improve this.

Question: My son is very bright and has an excellent vocabulary but he has no friends and stays in his room a lot.
Answer: Most of the children that Not Just Talking helps are bright. A lack of these non-verbal skills does not mean that your child has a learning difficulty, but if the problem is not resolved then he may find education so difficult that he fails to reach his potential. Conversational skills are central to being able to get on with friends and siblings so it is not surprising at all that your son finds this so hard. Improving his ability to process the 60-90% of non-verbal information will help him tremendously.

Question: As non-verbal problems relate to social issues is it
a form of Autism?
Answer: Not necessarily. However, it is possible for a very talkative child to exhibit signs that look like Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism this is because of the difficulties caused by their poor non-verbal skills. After Not Just Talking’s intervention some children no longer look as though they are on the Autistic spectrum of disorders. If they are do have one of these disorders then because they are able to communicate more effectively they will cope with the other associated issues more easily.

Question:I am a teacher and I have noticed one of my pupil’s behaviour deteriorates in certain situations e.g. when I’m on a course or in assembly.
Answer: Schools are generally well-structured and predictable which supports children with non-verbal difficulties. However a child with these problems will find it more difficult at less structured times e.g. at the end of terms when the timetable relaxes. They will also find it difficult when they are less able to predict what happens next e.g. when there is a supply teacher. Generally, children with non-verbal issues also find it hard to cope in large groups and where the situation changes quickly e.g. playtimes.

"Many of my son’s difficulties were due to his poor perception of non-verbal communication. It was reassuring to know that help was available. It is such a joy and relief to see him becoming a much happier and more confident child."
Mother of 13 year old boy in mainstream education
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