Symptoms – How do I know my child needs help?

A child with non-verbal communication problems can find life frustrating, stressful and emotionally exhausting. Usually, non-verbal skills are picked up by a baby automatically through observation from birth. However, if a child has difficulty learning these skills, they will not look for and then use the non-verbal information to make sense of all situations.

People who live with or come into regular contact with them may be very confused and frustrated because these children do not respond in expected ways either to rewards or reprimands. It can also be difficult for professionals like teachers and doctors to correctly diagnose children with poor non-verbal skills. This is because when a child talks well, people assume they know what is going on and are able to communicate.

Child development books tend to focus entirely on speech and language development, so it is very hard for a parent to know that their child is not picking up on non-verbal information until their behaviour becomes a problem. Some children may have certain conditions like Asperger’s Syndrome or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) but the central problem will be difficulty processing the 60-90% of non-verbal information. Not Just Talking can improve the conversational skills, whatever the diagnosis.

Children with non-verbal conversational difficulties can display some or many of the following behaviours. This list is a guide and is not exhaustive.

Conversation skills

Good skills associated with talking: extensive vocabulary
Repeating words or phrases used by adults verbatim, out of context
Limited styles of communication – talking to everyone in the same way
Not interacting conversationally: either dominating or withdrawing from a converstaion
Preferring to talk to adults rather than their peers
Unable to stick to or change topics easily, unless it is a topic of their choice

Behaviour difficulties

Shutting down, fleeing from situations, resorting to verbal or physical aggression to get out of conversations they cannot cope with
Inconsistent behaviour – they appear to behave appropriately in some situations and other times they don’t
Displaying more difficulties at less structured times e.g. play time or at the end of term when the timetable relaxes

Social consequences

Appearing more comfortable with situations or people they are very familiar with
Finding it difficult to make or keep friends
Being vulnerable to bullying
Being ‘wrongly’ accused of bullying

Emotional consequences

Appearing suddenly to become angry for no apparent good reason
Having difficulties understanding others’ emotions
Having difficulty expressing their own emotions

Educational impact

Having trouble achieving their potential
Appearing not to complete instructions and being unable to prepare for work in class
Finding it difficult to complete their work and disrupting others
Shouting out in class, fidgeting or other inappropriate behaviour
Displaying more difficulties at play time

Got a specific question?
See our FAQ
For more information
See case studies